growing block

long time, no post!

2010-08-28T01:08:00.000-04:00

hi everyone! i know i haven't posted in a long while. since my last entry, where anna jae took her first steps, a lot has happened. first, work has gotten quite busy for me. i launched my new website, released a new line of ready-to-order wedding invitations, and have been getting in new custom orders. yay! i also work after anna jae goes to bed at night, so i have little extra time for posting to any of my blogs.

but of course, the biggest time-taker has been anna jae. she is a full-on little girl now. we can hardly get over how much she has grown. she is learning about a word a day now, though not all very clearly yet, and has opinions on EVERYTHING. she loves to draw and even has her own art desk now, right next to mommy's desk. we have taken her to sesame place, she will start swim classes in a couple of weeks, and she is quite boy-crazy. every day is new and exciting for her, and it's so much fun to hang out with her now.

we have had a few rough patches, of course, as you would with any toddler. her 15th month was particularly difficult -- she had a lot of behavior issues, and acted out specifically toward me. plus, she really wasn't saying much yet, which was starting to worry me, especially since she had always been a babbler. after a weekend upstate with her daddy and her nana, she came home to me happy to see me and our relationship was back to normal. clearly i needed a break, and she needed to be reminded of how good she has it. =)

on mother's day, the words really started to flow. first she pointed out a window and said, "tree!", completely unexpectedly. then after dinner, she pointed to my name written on a bag and said, "C!" so she knew tree, AND the letter c! the best mother's day ever. =) and ever since, the words come quite easily. we're anxiously awaiting her first sentence.

there was an intense round of separation anxiety that popped up a few weeks ago, that thankfully ended fairly quickly. but there's a bit of attachment leftover. she's quite jealous of my desk and constantly tries to take me away from it.

i will share new pics as soon as i get the chance. and i will try to be back here more often. got to keep a record of our girl!

first 2 steps!!

2010-02-04T12:28:00.000-05:00

ok, i know i'm in trouble for not posting more... but i just wanted to tell all of you anna jae fans that she TOOK HER FIRST TWO STEPS today!!! very excited! walking is just around the corner. and we can't wait. =D

almost one! and today, it's all about the mommy. =)

2010-01-12T10:28:00.004-05:00

wow. as of tomorrow, a year will have flown by faster than i ever could have imagined. anna jae will be one year old at 8:20 in the morning tomorrow. she was 6lbs, 13oz. when she was born, and 19.5" long. now she is 22lbs. (we think), and i have no idea how tall because she just went through a big growth spurt. she's crawling everywhere, *this close* to walking, babbling a mile a minute, telling people she's one year old with her finger. she is funny, opinionated, strong-willed, adorable, loving, independent... hmmmm... sounds like someone else i know very well. =)

my birthday was last week. and to be honest, the thing i thought of most was that my birthday marked almost a year of the best and most challenging year of my life. i'm so proud of this year. i'm proud of the job we've both done as parents, and i'm very proud of the job i've done as anna jae's mommy. i breastfed for the year! i keep her on a steady and successful schedule! i've made it through with very few emotional breakdowns (relatively speaking), with my marriage in tact, with my career still going, and most importantly with a smart, happy, healthy, giggly, ridiculously wonderful child. ::patting myself on the back::

every mom should give herself a pat on the back for a job well done. this is, by far, the HARDEST job in the entire world. we sacrifice our sleep, our privacy, our alone time, our whole body if we are breastfeeding, even our mental and physical health. we sacrifice the ability to take a walk by ourselves, holding just a purse and a bottle of water, to go to the store or do window shopping (shout out to my fellow mommies!). we sacrifice our social lives. but you know, we do it knowing not only that we must, but we should, and that we and our children will be better off for it. in the end, we do it willingly and, sometimes, happily.

i'm happier in most ways than i've ever been in my entire life. i'm fulfilled in ways that i could not have been before. it may not be glamorous, it may not be easy. but it's so incredibly worth it.

tomorrow i'll celebrate anna jae's first year of life on this earth. today, i'm going to celebrate my first year of life as a mommy. a good mommy. go me. go mommies everywhere (and that most especially includes my mom).

thanksgiving pics

2009-11-29T22:05:00.007-05:00

holiday card photo session!

2009-11-28T16:53:00.005-05:00

we decided to do our own little at home photo shoot for our holiday card this year. out of 565 photos taken, these were the only decent ones! the last one shown was our choice for the card. =)

10 months old: shock and awe

2009-11-15T01:36:00.002-05:00

i know i keep apologizing for not posting more often. truth be told, i actually think about my posts daily... what i should write about, how i should phrase it, etc. but life just keeps getting in the way of recording life. which actually is too bad -- i truly enjoy writing all of this down, to re-read in years to come (and to remind myself in the near future what we went through in the past!).

life here simultaneously gets easier and harder, day by day. easier because anna is more self-sufficient, more fun, more easily entertained. she just crawls around most of the time, examining everything in our home that she can get her hands on. she pulls stuff out and makes a mess. and she laughs about it! she laughs pretty much all the time now... at least during the day.

harder because anna now needs constant supervision. no longer can i sit at my computer and work while she rolls around a 6-ft space on the floor with her toys. i don't exactly have to chase her around the apartment -- we have an open plan, so i can see everywhere she's going and everything she's doing -- i still have to keep my eyes peeled at all times so that she doesn't fall or get into something that can hurt her (or, more often, that she can hurt!). it's wearing on me, since i'm trying so hard to work at the same time, and so i wind up working until 3am or so these days.

ok, updates!

development
our little miss anna jae has gone from starting to crawl to full-on cruising in a mere 3 weeks. once she got the hang of the crawl, she seemed to have this newfound confidence and joy. she immediately started pulling herself up on furniture, to balancing with only one hand, and this past week began cruising (which means she's using the furniture to balance herself as she walks along/between objects). walking is clearly on the horizon. we are LOVING this stage. yes, it means more trouble, but really, she has responded very well to discipline so far. so it really hasn't been very difficult. just tiring. =)

anna is still quite the jibber-jabber. she loves to talk, and imitates our speech more and more. no new words since mama and dada, but her babbling is really amazing. she talks to us, she talks to herself, she talks to her dolls, she just loves to talk.

she is pointing at people with what i call her "lounge point", which means that she's doing that sort of cocked-gun point that lounge lizards do in their acts. it cracks me up. she also points at things she wants and then makes sounds, which is pretty crazy. she waves hello, though not goodbye yet, motions her arms to be picked up, and truly enjoys being able to pinch everything. that last one is not so much fun.

and i know i'm her mom, but i really can't get over how smart anna jae is sometimes. she remembers everything. she can play games (or attempt it). she actually knew that the examination room in the doctors office was a bad place for her, and went from being extremely happy in the waiting room to screaming before we even got her ready for her shot in the exam room. ok, so maybe her smarts are too much sometimes... hehehehehe... more on that in the discipline section...

eating
anna is eating like a champ!! though she's still petite, our girl can really chow down. she's gone from hating to eat to trying anything (and so far seems to love almost everything). she actually gets mad at us now if we don't give her our food to eat, so it's actually getting a little difficult to eat in front of her. but really, we're just happy she enjoys it so much.

teeth
umm... none yet. teething? yes. actual teeth? nope. ok, guess i covered that one...

disclipline
in some ways we've actually started disciplining anna. i guess this started somewhere between 8 and 9 months, trying to teach her to respond to the word no. she understood "no" pretty quickly, though sometimes would make a game out of it so that i would come after her. but now it's really going quite well. if she's not supposed to touch something, i usually just need a firm "uh-uh" and shaking of my finger. actually, it's gotten so good that often she just responds to "the look" -- i give her a firm no-nonsense look and hold up my finger, and she just backs off without me having to say anything. sometimes it does take a solid "no", or me having to pull her away, but really not often these days. i always end with a "thank you" to remind her that she's a good girl. i get a smile. it's pretty incredible.

she did start throwing tantrums before the 9-month mark, throwing herself into the floor and screaming. dave and i discussed it, and decided to answer it quickly rather than waiting until these tantrums got worse. so i would tell her that she wasn't getting what she wanted and she could stay there until she stopped crying, and then when she did stop crying i would pick her up and hug her. responding this way, without getting crazy or the other extreme of trying to make her happy really has worked well so far. the tantrums are far less frequent, once in a blue moon now, and usually it's because i take food or a toy away. but i don't give her anything else, and when she's done, i give her lots of lovin'.

of course, this is just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to what we'll have to face in the future. but we have a very smart and willful child, and we know that we need to put the kabosh on it right away before it gets worse -- and before we get too frustrated and snap.

sleep
did i just mention snapping?

anna started what i just found out was a 9-month sleep regression at, well, 9 months. at first, it was no biggie... 1-3 night wakings, which were easy to soothe away by a couple minutes in the rocking chair, and then back into the crib she went. then she wasn't so easy to get back in the crib, and it took a few tries before she went back down willingly. then her crying got so extreme and so forceful that we thought something was wrong. maybe teething? maybe nightmares? who knew? rocking her in the chair wasn't working anymore, so both of us took to laying down on the couch with her -- she was fine if she was in our arms. so she would pass out on our chest, and we would put her back in her crib. this was happening a couple times a week.

then it started happening three times a week.

then four.

then it was every night... and not just every night, but twice or more a night. it was a mess. last night anna woke even earlier than she usually did, at 11pm, and aunt loren had to leave so that i could get her back to sleep. then she woke again at 2:30, and dave went out for that one. he fell asleep completely on the couch with her until 5:45, when she woke up and consequently woke him up.

so we decided that we needed to get back to where she was, and tonight we started re-training her. she woke up before 11 tonight (fun!), so i went in, sotthed her for a bit, and then put her back down, when she would promptly cling to me and begin screaming, as though her crib was filled with acid. this continued every 10-20 minutes for the next 2 hours. she finally passed out at 1am.

dave is increasingly uncomfortable with letting her cry, since now her cries are much more intense and it sounds so awful. i feel the same way -- it's heartwrenching to hear -- but i do have a slightly easier time with it. mostly because i know that her awful, screaming-on-the-top-of-her-lungs cry is actually a tantrum cry, and i know it's because we both let her sleep with us on the couch and now that's what she wants. we both believe that CIO is our correct option here, but it's just not easy to do. especially now that she stands in her crib and wails. ugh.

anyway, that's my wrap up. i should take the opportunity to sleep, so i'm off. i hope this sustains everyone until my next entry.

halloween 2009!

2009-11-02T13:18:00.001-05:00

she's crawling!!!

2009-10-23T18:42:00.002-04:00

my goodness i've been delinquent here.

well, we have news! anna is officially crawling! as of 4:30 today, she gave up her rolling/wounded soldier (for the most part anyway), and is now full-on crawling. this is exciting because honestly, we didn't think she would do it. she was so good at getting around with her fabulous rolling (the floor show as i like to call it) and her belly pull (she looks like a wounded soldier in battle) that we thought she'd go right from here to walking. but no, she surprised us again. yay! go anna!

with the new found skill came new found confidence, and she's already taken to being much more destructive than before. but destructive for anna is still pretty ok -- she's more into examining things than breaking them, so we're ok there.

on other fronts, we've had two new babies join the world this week! ava lin quinby was born to jen and carter on sunday -- two weeks ahead of schedule and still 8 POUNDS! -- and little spenser everett vinjamuri was born to michelle and david very early monday morning. we're so excited! spenser is sure to be anna's dance partner in the future, so this is a big thing for her. =)

i have had a very migraine-ridden, busy week. i've been trying to get a lot of work done, and my new site launched two weeks ago, so i've been on a promo-ride since then. nana is in town this weekend to see us and celebrate dave's bday, so we will have a busy weekend. but we have lots to tell, and will be back on here asap.

love you all!!

she's turned over a new leaf... yet again...

2009-10-08T13:42:00.002-04:00

hey hey! i'm here as a much relieved woman, with my site redesign finished (www.nic-events.net) and a baby who has been in the BEST mood for the past few days and... wait for it... ACTUALLY SLEEPING FOR NAPS!!

yes, yes, it's crazy but true. she's finally sleeping for her naps. it took some time, but i figured out the schedule she wants (at least until she switches it up again). most babies at her age need a morning nap and then a nap 3 hours later after lunch. well, i was trying that, and it didn't work. anna would just get super cranky until lunch, then fall asleep while nursing, and then if i put her down she was up in 20 minutes. then she wouldn't nap for the rest of the day, but was the crankiest angriest child!

no, anna jae needs TWO morning naps. two. she wakes around 6/6:30 for bath and daddy time, then nurses and goes back down by 8. she sleeps for an unbelievable 1.5-2 hours. then she gets up (in a great mood mind you), nurses, eats some fruit, and plays. by 11 or 11:15, she needs to be down again (basically no more than 1.5 hours from her wake time). she goes down without complaint, falls asleep by 11:30 the latest, and has been sleeping for another 1.5-2 hours. she's up by 1 or so and is up for the rest of the day.

the one thing she needs in the afternoon is mommy cuddle time. this is also pretty new for anna. i've realized that at her 3:30/4pm nursing, she gets all comfy and wants to fall asleep. sometimes she'll sleep while nursing, sometimes she stays up but wants to stay in my arms. so we cuddle up on the couch until 5pm. sometimes she stays awake, most of the time she gets in a cat nap of about 30 min. but it's a really nice time of day for both of us. no matter how much work i've had over the past couple weeks, i know that i have an anna date at 4pm. and we just snuggle together and enjoy the moment. it's awesome. i hope this keeps up just as much as i hope the naps keep up. =)

anna jae seems like she's over a bit of her stranger anxiety too, which she developed in her 8th month. instead of staring at people like she's skeptical of their prescence and clinging to me with a death grip, the past few days have shown her to be smiling and giggling at people she meets. it's nice to have miss social back.

ok, i'm off to do more work. i know the pics are late. they're coming, i promise!

anna enjoying her crib jail!

2009-10-01T13:16:00.000-04:00

things i love about my girl

2009-09-30T10:44:00.002-04:00

yesterday anna had a rough day -- and therefore so did i. 11 hours straight of cranky baby with pretty much no naps or breaks. but i realized at points during the day that no matter how tough they are, there's always stuff we love about our kids that keep us happy and going. and i thought that i'd share the current "i love anna jae because..." goodies with everyone.

i love anna jae because...

- she talks, yells, makes noises with her mouth and throat all day long! a little jibber-jabber this one. but it's so funny. she'll just start yelling and talking in a grocery store so loudly, but it makes everyone around her laugh and smile. and if i laugh, she just does it more. awesome.

- she tries to make me laugh. she'll sit there and just start squealing or laughing just so i'll laugh, and then cracks herself up. it's hysterical. she's just so funny.

- she's so damn attentive. since birth, our girl has loved to watch, observe, take in the world around her. not a second is missed. and you can see her figuring it out. it's amazing to see every single day.

- her breath smells good. it does! sweet baby breath...

- she has definite affection for certain toys. she loves the shaggy stuffed dog she has, and she adores her elmo doll. she still smiles every time her musical elephant's cord is pulled. all of this is so fun to watch.

- she learned how to hug (kisses came a while ago). and she's just so cuddly now. she hugged me on request 3 times this morning.

- she loves to explore. as most babies do of course... but i love to watch her explore. and she doesn't just want to grab and destroy -- she studies what's in her hand and tries to figure out how it works.

- she still can't crawl, but she's working on it. and her roll is still the best floor routine ever!

this is an ever evolving list. but i need to note the best stuff as we go along. i can't forget this stage in a few months when i'm chasing her around the house.

rosh hashana, 2009

2009-09-29T13:10:00.000-04:00

HUGE recap... hope you're comfy!

2009-09-28T14:51:00.002-04:00

i know, i know, i've been very delinquent on here. i'm sorry. i've been trying really hard to get work done on my website, and it's impossible to do a long update on here while i'm doing that.

but, i'm here now, and i promise good things.

well, our little anna jae is now 8.5 months old. where has time gone?!! we are talking about what to do for her first birthday and how to keep our christmas tree safe from her. ha! she's still not crawling, and we don't know if she's going to or if she's just going to go straight to walking. she does try to drag her belly across the floor though, which is funny to watch. and she's still rolling all over the place. and, for better or worse, she's started to pull herself up to standing. i say worse because our little angel threw herself out of her crib last week and landed on the floor. yes, that's right. no signs of pulling herself up at all, but that morning i found her for the second time sitting up in her crib after a nap. so i told dave that we should move down the mattress more that night. and during her nap that afternoon, i hear a loud thump followed closely by a scream. i ran in and found her on the floor. eek! i kept calm until i checked her out -- event though she was screaming, she didn't have a mark on her. i called dave, the pediatrician, and my mom, and then got her calmed down. once she was back to her usual self, i was then free to lose my mind. let's just say that i took anna out for a walk after that just so i could buy some wine for that night. =)

still no teeth for anna jae! but the teething went through another bad stage -- a lot of crying and whining for a couple of weeks. i don't mind that she doesn't have teeth yet, but it would be nice if she didn't teethe then! argh. i feel like i did at the end of my pregnancy. going late wouldn't have been as bad if i didn't go through 4 weeks of false labor!

anna now says da-da. she said it for the first time when we were away in the catskills (update on that weekend to come in my next post, with pics). in fact, since she had to sleep with us the last night we were there, she had to keep on our good side -- so she said "da-da, ma-ma," when she woke us at 5am. we both melted. then she decided she NEEDED to nurse. good moment over.

eating has taken a wonderful turn. she has started doing finger foods, and now happily eats for us! it's so great. she was such a difficult baby to feed, and we could never get her to eat willingly, even foods that she liked. i decided to try puffs with her, since they melt in her mouth and we didn't have to worry about choking. and lo and behold, she loved them! i showed her how to pick them up and she got it right away. now she uses her pincer grip like an old pro! we cut up pieces of strawberry for her to eat (which she loves, but they are so slippery and frustrate her no end!), give her some table food, and she thinks it's the greatest thing ever. and now when we spoon feed her, she's more than happy to eat for us. it's a nice change. feedings were becoming anxiety-inducing events.

we're still working on her napping, but it's getting marginally better. her separation anxiety is still present, but is also getting easier to handle. and she sleeps like a dream at night. she LOVES to talk, and yammers away all day long. she also sings, and can hold a note like nobody's business! we sit around all day babbling and singing to each other. fun times!

coming up on the blog will be the summary of our trip to the catskills, as well as pics so far from her 8th month!

meeting sofia!

2009-09-20T13:05:00.000-04:00

jodi came into town in september so that we could meet her new daughter sofia! so much fun to have all the babies together!

gabriel and carlos.

the lopez family! meredith, carlos, gabriel.

anna with her new best bud, elizabeth.

the girls and our kids!

jodi and sofia.

anna's first strawberries!

2009-09-20T13:01:00.000-04:00

catskills trip, labor day weekend, 2009

2009-09-15T12:50:00.000-04:00

just a quick check-in...

2009-09-14T09:37:00.002-04:00

hello all. i'm so sorry i'm way behind on my updates. anna has kept me really quite busy these last couple weeks, so i'm trying to catch up on everything -- work, cleaning, and updating. but she's 8 months old now! really, i need to start giving this kid coffee in her bottle to slow down her growth.

just a recap of what i will go into detail about:

- our trip to the catskills with the block clan, including anna's new cousin mila.
- anna's new word -- DA-DA!!
- anna's first evening out going to bed at someone else's house, and then being taken home!
- the resurgence of the teething.
- the remaining issues with solid foods.
- anna's obsession with weird mouth sounds, and how many new ones she has come up with.
- her decision that rolling WAY trumps crawling.
- anna's lovely singing voice and jibber-jabber.
- her continuing separation anxiety issues.

all this, pictures, and more, on the next update of GROWING BLOCK!

update time! anna jae at 7.5 months

2009-08-27T10:18:00.002-04:00

yes, our girl gets bigger and bigger every day. i honestly can't get over it. dave and i are talking about her first birthday already -- can you believe that? geez... i wish i could stop time just for a little while. i'm really loving her 7th month of life.

anna is just so incredibly smart. she really looks at things, analyzes them, takes them apart or figures out how to take things off. she can spend an hour just on the floor, sitting or laying there with a toy, an empty water bottle, or a catalog to rip up, and study them. she figured out immediately when we would purposely make her laugh to stick the spoon of food in her mouth, and began to just smile with her mouth closed when she doesn't want it. i played patty-cake with her twice in a row, and she figured out when the tickling part would come, so she starts to laugh at "one-slice, two-slice". it's just so amazing to watch her in action.

as i always love to tell people, anna's funny. she's so funny. she'll sit there and laugh at you just to get you to laugh. she makes funny faces and noises and entertains you. she will play peek-a-boo with you if you give her a cloth to put over her face. she's got a great sense of humor and keeps me smiling (at least for most of the day).

she is not as active as she used to be. she'll jump in her jumper and sit on the floor and play, but she's become a lot more cautious. anna was trying to crawl for a bit, but kept face-planting on the rug. so now, she's started to simply lower herself to the floor from a seated position, and then roll over to what she wants, since she's been a master roller from 3 months old. she's also not pulling herself up on objects, only when someone gives her their hands for her to pull from. she's become a bit of a girly-girl in that way. however, if we put her by an ottoman or the side of a couch, she'll stand there while holding on. i think she just likes to feel safe.

most of anna's energy seems to be going into chattering and yelling! she loves to talk to herself, is imitating adult speech patterns (though everything is in "ba-ba-ba" with a "mama" thrown in here and there), and yells at the top of her lungs for fun. she's actually quite loud. everyone says she gets that from me... i'm starting to get insulted. =)

eating is going better. anna jae didn't start out as the best solids eater in the world. she has texture issues galore. and she's very dramatic when she doesn't like something -- gagging and throwing a fit. but... she's definitely getting better. her foods have caused some constipation issues, but we're fixing that by incorporating LOTS of prunes.

separation anxiety is still an issue, but we're working hard on it. i make her sit by herself during the day as often as i can, assuring her from afar that i'm there and that she's ok. it's helping her cope. putting her to bed at night or down for a nap always brings on a crying fit, but if we just say goodnight and leave the room, that seems to keep it short -- if we stay and try to soothe her it actually makes it worse and lasts longer. it's sad, because she hangs onto our hands and clothes and doesn't want us to leave, but when we stay, she keeps looking up to make sure we're there. so she never goes to sleep. if we kiss her goodnight and leave, she only cries for about 5 minutes and then konks out.

all in all, the 7th month is my favorite so far. i love that anna jae can play games, give kisses and hugs, is learning to wave, laughs and giggles and entertains all of us. i love that she can sleep well at night by herself, and that she talks as much as possible. i love that she looks for her daddy when i mention him, even if he's not there. i love everything about this girl. she's the coolest chick ever.

sleeping success!! no more swaddle!!

2009-08-19T09:06:00.002-04:00

i don't have much time, but i just wanted to report that we are no longer using the swaddle for sleep. and after a couple of rough nights, anna jae is sleeping happily and peacefully on her own, for the entire night with no wakes. it's incredible! this time she was ready, and i'm so glad. she sleeps with her toys and on her belly, and she seems to be loving it. so from around 8 or 8:15 at night until around 6:30 in the morning, she's out cold.

go anna!

photos from 7 months (so far) -- the aquarium!

2009-08-19T09:01:00.005-04:00

we took anna jae to the aquarium for the first time this past sunday. she was more interested in the other babies than in the fish we think... but she did like to try to catch the fish and loved to watch the walruses and seals swim. it was a really good day.

photos from 7 months (so far) -- anna jae's 7 month birthday!

2009-08-19T08:42:00.004-04:00

anna jae and i had fun taking pics in her stroller to mark her 7 month birthday. the outfit she is wearing is from aunt loren's mom and stepfather, phyllis and rich. and her baby flip-flops are from grandma.

photos from six months -- pearl's birthday party

2009-08-19T08:37:00.004-04:00

we had a great time celebrating aunt pearl's 94th birthday party!

anna jae surrounded by love -- cousin chris, uncle howie, nana, and aunt joan.

having fun with aunt joan.

uncle howie keeping her entertained.

xiao-bin actually calmed her down...

and made her laugh with his funny faces!

cousin jeff talks a good game, but he looks like a natural.

photos from six months -- taking a walk

2009-08-19T08:34:00.002-04:00

photos from 6 months -- eating!

2009-08-19T08:30:00.003-04:00

anna in her high chair.

anna's first feeding with rice cereal.

she didn't like it very much at first. =)

when i hurt my back, grandma came over to help for the day...

she got anna jae to eat her green beans!

happy 7 months to our miss anna jae!!

2009-08-13T09:35:00.003-04:00

yes, she's 7 months old today. where the HELL is the time going? i'm starting to lose track. we're already talking about her 1st birthday celebration --- whaaaaa????

anna jae is doing great. she really really is. yes, the separation anxiety is still there, and in some ways worse than ever... when we're alone, i really have to battle her to put her down anywhere. she doesn't want to leave me to go down for a nap, to play on the floor, to jump in her jumper. it's rough. and when we're with others, it can swing either way -- she might be great and go right to whomever else is there, or she might cry and need to stay with me. it's a crapshoot at this point. but... she's sleeping way better, with barely any wakes at all anymore. the night light seemed to really do the trick -- the one i originally put in there for her started to fade (batteries were dying), and that night she had a really tough time sleeping. so we bought her a new nightlight the next day, and the problem was licked. yay! mommy and daddy are actually sleeping again.

anna loves her daddy more than ever! she screams and squeals and laughs the minute she sees him. she's even started to look at the door in the evening, expecting him to come through it. while her excitement definitely provides an extra problem in putting her to bed at night, it's also so sweet to see. of course, dave can't get enough of it.

she cracks me up every day. she plays games with me now, and starts to laugh before the end if she knows what's coming. she's realized that i was tricking her to laugh while she ate, and now just smiles at me with her mouth closed if she doesn't want her food. she locks up and won't let me past those lips! too smart for her own good i think... anna also talks to herself all the time now, and is starting to become rather expressive with her conversations. almost as though she's mimicking adult talk. it's really funny to watch.

the eating is going better. we're doing fruit in the morning, veggies or veggies and fruit in the afternoon, and rice cereal in the evening. i'm going to start adding in a veggie or fruit in with the rice cereal at night soon. i'm also going to start making my own food for her now! starting tomorrow, i'm going to begin our baby purees. it's easy, and i am looking forward to it. i'm hoping that it will help to expand what she's willing to eat too. she's not the easiest to feed all the time.

the next thing we have to start doing is getting the swaddle addict out of her swaddle. it begins this weekend. hopefully it goes better than our attempts have in the past. wish us luck!

pics will be posted this weekend. i know i owe everyone TONS of photos.

separation anxiety

2009-08-01T09:58:00.003-04:00

well, we've moved onto a new and exciting stage of baby rearing -- separation anxiety.

i hope you note the sarcasm in my writing.

anna jae has been giving us, mostly me, a really rough few weeks. that's why i haven't been on here much lately. i thought that it was teething at first -- she's definitely teething, she has the peaks of two bottom teeth coming through, i know she's in pain sometimes when she won't let me touch her gums. so i just attributed all of her recent actions to the teeth; actions which include screaming when i put her on the floor/in her jumper/in her stroller/anywhere that's not my arms, screaming when i put her down for a nap, and the worst, screaming during the night. the night wakes are the worst -- the cry is gutteral, low, painful almost. she would wake and stay awake, no matter how much i tried to soothe her, for 1-3 hours each time. all of this up and down, soothing and picking up resulted in a serious worsening of my already bad neck, making my back spasm.

for 2 days, when my back was severe, dave woke up for anna at night. he got her back to sleep in 10 minutes or less. that was great, but frustrating -- when i got back to doing it on tuesday night, she was up again for 3 hours! what was going on? i knew it had something to do with not wanting me to leave her, even though she wouldn't sleep while i was with her either. so i looked it up... and came up with spearation anxiety!

yep. separation anxiety. i thought it was too early for it, but apparently it starts at 6-9 months. anna jae is 6.5 months, and it's been going on for weeks, so our little over-achiever started on the early end of it. it explains everything, especially her actions during the day, and the new need to be in my arms when someone else holds her (she's always been a very social baby, so this is very unlike her). apparently it means that she's developed the ability to remember and desire objects and people, which is great, except children learn that people leave before they learn that they come back. sad! so i'm trying to make her feel better about it. i've adopted a new way of dealing with her during the day... i reassure her that i'm there, even if it means she stays where she is and i talk to her from my seat, the bathroom, or the kitchen. i put her down for a nap after i read to her and cuddle with her for a bit. i still enforce that she needs to be by herself sometimes, but i make it more cozy for her.

now, her separation anxiety at night is a different animal -- a different cry (low, gutteral, painful almost), a different reaction to seeing me (she gets worse, she doesn't want me to leave). so it's a tough balance to strike. so we've reset our parameters again. i got her a nightlight so that the dark didn't scare her, and we now let her cry for about 5 whole minutes or so before going in (i say that because in the middle of the night, one minute feels like 10, so i actually watch the clock and wait). most of the time, if she wakes, she'll go back to sleep within 1-5 minutes if we don't intercede. if i have to go in, like last night, i rub her head, calm her down, and then as she starts to drift, i kiss her on the head and let her know i'm leaving again. the key there is that she can feel safe in her own crib, and she knows i'm leaving (that's how i leave every time i put her down in her crib, so she knows what it means). if she wakes to find me gone, it's going to freak her out more than KNOWING that i've gone. this combination seems to have worked, and i only had to go in once out of the last three nights, and she's back to sleeping 10+ hour stretches.

she's still clinging to me a lot during the day and i imagine that will continue for a while. my back is also still a mess, and i have a lot of healing to do. i need to pay more attention to taking care of myself, because if i'm out of commission, no one is here to take care of anna jae. still, i have hope that this stage will now be easier to deal with.

in other news, anna jae is spending most of her time talking gibberish these days. she still hasn't mastered any other words but mama, but she's trying. hard. =) she's actually less physically active than usual, and is clearly putting most of her effort into talking.

the sitting up is going well, and she is attempting to start crawling, though that's going nowhere yet. she's developed a love for certain toys though, which is fun.

and yes, she's still addicted to her swaddle (the next thing to conquer), sesame street, and dr. phil. =D

quick update -- 6 months, 1 week

2009-07-23T10:01:00.002-04:00

hey everyone.

so sorry we've been away from updating the blog. it's been a rough few weeks. anna jae is teething, and with her, it's a bitch. she's obviously very uncomfortable, and probably in a lot of pain, and she's showing it. her sleep patterns are a wreck, she's in a terrible mood, and she always wants to be held (but she won't sleep in your arms, so that's just problematic). she's still great when out with people or in group settings, but when she's at home alone with me, it's awful. i've been having a hard time working or sleeping, my neck and head are worse than before, and i've just been a bit beaten up.

that being said, when she has a good night's sleep and isn't in so much pain, she's her usual wonderful self with me. this morning was one of those mornings. she's even been down for over 2 hours now for her morning nap. sometimes life is good. =)

just a few updates: anna had her 6 month appt. last week. she's only 15lbs, 1oz. but she is 26.5 inches long!! she started on solids -- loves rice cereal, hates peas, and is sort of undecided on carrots. =) she is now watching sesame street and loves it (great distraction when she's pissy), and for some reason also loves dr. phil. i think he looks like a muppet. ha! her hair is starting to grow in more, which is great. and she's still miss social butterfly, so being out and about meeting new people is certainly her thing.

we will see grandma earlier today (i have a nutritionist appt., so anna is going to hang out at grandma and grandpa's house), and then nana will be over for some playtime and dinner later this afternoon. this weekend is aunt pearl's 94th bday party, and we will see the whole block/katz family then, even those that have yet to meet anna jae. so that will be lots of fun!

okee dokee. i'm outta here. gotta go grab the girl. =)

pics: coney island on the 4th -- hot dog eating contest and boardwalk fun

2009-07-10T09:42:00.005-04:00

finally, we have pics of our trip to coney island on the 4th of july! yep, we go to the hot dog eating contest there every year, and decided that anna needed to attend her first one. uncle larry was good enough to join in.

"where the HELL have you taken me? and what's up with these weirdos?"

funny! the weirdos are SOOOO funny!

unhappy?

anna jae and uncle larry.

brothers!

silly daddy...

the announcer at the contest presiding over the crowd.

apparently anna jae didn't think it was all that exciting. she fell asleep at the end, just as joey chestnut won and the crowd was screaming. ha!

coney island shots: the parachute jump...

the cyclone...

shoot the freak (which one?)...

nathans on the boardwalk, and the immense crowds that day...

the boardwalk, with the wonder wheel in the background...

one of my favorite things, the bath house on the beach by stillwell and surf...

people on the boardwalk...

gotta love 'em...

pics: uncle larry's visit

2009-07-10T09:39:00.004-04:00

uncle larry got to spend some good quality time with anna jae during his new york city visit. since he hadn't seen her since she was first born, this was necessary bonding time! and they clearly had a blast together.

pics: anna sits up all by herself!! and takes a bath in the sink.

2009-07-10T09:39:00.001-04:00

the same day anna slept without her swaddle (tuesday june 30th), she sat up by herself for the first time. it was so cool! and thankfully, she didn't decide she hates sitting since. =) because she is outgrowing her bathtub, we decided to try to bathe her in the sink now that she can sit up. she loved playing in the water and with her toys!!

pics: the short-lived "no swaddle" days

2009-07-10T09:38:00.003-04:00

we were so excited when anna went to sleep for a few days without her swaddle. unfortunately those days are over. after a week of working on it, she got worse instead of better, clearly letting us know that she wanted her blankets back. so now she's back in her swaddle. still, it was nice (and awfully cute) while it lasted.

pics: sometimes she looks like her mama!

2009-07-10T09:38:00.001-04:00

it's funny -- certain pics of anna reveal her daddy in her, and others make her look just like me. this particular june day she looked just like i did when i was a baby. =D

pics: father's day weekend without daddy

2009-07-10T09:37:00.002-04:00

daddy wasn't around father's day weekend, so we went to aunt maria and uncle richie's house without him. anna wore her new outfit, courtesy of her cousins chris and debbie.

pics: trip to see aunt kira

2009-07-10T09:37:00.001-04:00

anna drove of course! no, just kidding. but she was really into the steering wheel when she finished eating at a pit stop. i love how she tried to use her feet -- just like our little monkey girl!

pics: mama group

2009-07-10T09:36:00.001-04:00

these are some shots over different mama group get togethers that we have every thursday. i need to get more shots...

joanna and her lucas.

joanna's lucas.

anna and lucas.

a small snapshot of the group (there are lots more of us, but we usually can't ALL make it every week).

anna and her buddy zoe.

love of elmo

2009-07-08T08:40:00.003-04:00

yes, anna jae is in LOVE with elmo. it's hysterical! she doesn't really watch tv shows or anything, most of the time she plays on the floor with her toys. but the other day, we put on sesame street to entertain her when she was feeling a bit lazy with us, and she showed a genuine interest in elmo specifically. kicked up her feet and let out an excited sound.

well, yesterday she was crying because of her teething, and sesame street was on but ending -- which meant that "elmo's world" was on. i put it on to distract her and opted to dvr the remaining few minutes. well, she started letting out a yell every time elmo was on screen! only elmo too -- she seemed to like ernie and slimey the worm, but when elmo was on screen she just got so happy! the rest of the day yesterday was up and down -- teething is causing some serious mood swings -- and every time she needed a distraction i would put on those few minutes of elmo and she was just the happiest kid in the world. =D

so now i'm recording sesame street the 2 times a day it's on, and that way i have episodes to use during the day if necessary. i'm not really interested in anna jae watching television just yet, but sesame street is educational and she seems to love it, so i'm going to go with the flow on this particular show.

"first word"!

2009-07-08T08:35:00.002-04:00

yes, i think we have our official first word. =D anna jae has been exercising a version of "mama" for a while now, usually only coming out when she cries and wants me. but yesterday, while we were hanging out together, she changed the game a bit. she sounded like she was trying to say something, so i said, "say mama!" and as usual, i overemphasized how i said it. after repeating it about 3 times, she said it! and then she said it again! "mama", clear as day. woohoo!!!

she knows that it means me now -- so this is exciting. not just mimicking, but actual understanding of the word.

that's our girl!!

funniest video ever!

2009-07-07T11:30:00.002-04:00

i have a lot to report, but i'm beat. anna has been putting me through the ringer. damn teething and addiction to a swaddle...

in the meantime, while i build up my energy to update the blog, you should watch this video. it cracked me up! why do i have a feeling this will be anna soon?

sitting up! sleeping without a swaddle! such exciting days!

2009-07-01T09:25:00.002-04:00

little miss anna jae has been very busy at new things these days! yesterday, all in a few hours, she fell asleep for a nap without a swaddle (woohoo!!!!), and also managed to sit upright, for a long time, without toppling over. it's amazing what these kids can do all at once, isn't it? honestly, the swaddle seemed as though it'd be on forever, but now we're on the track to being without it completely (we're going without it for naps only for now, and eventually we'll do it for night sleeping). she did it again this morning and slept for almost an hour!

and the sitting... well, we've been sitting her up and helping her work on it for a couple of weeks. she was getting better, but still a little topply. but yesterday, i sat her up, and she pushed up straight and STAYED THAT WAY! crazy! she did it for about 40 minutes straight while i cooked dinner yesterday, just watching me and laughing and playing while i looked on from the kitchen. after a while, i went and sat next to her on the ground, and dave came in to find us sitting next to each other. LOL... he cracked up.

what great stuff! i can't get over it. of course i have pics AND video, but i have to download it all. so they'll be coming at a later time.

sorry i haven't been on here in a week+. it's been pretty busy for me around here. but i am back!

cousins meet!

2009-07-01T09:17:00.004-04:00

we went up to rochester this past weekend to meet anna jae's new cousin, mila isabella. she is just beautiful!!! and such a chill baby -- she actually sleeps! dave and i were quite jealous, remembering back to the days of 1-hour a night. =)

anna jae tried to show her love to her cousin, but we had to keep her from being too enthusiastic. ha! anna looks HUGE next to little mila. it's amazing how fast they grow and change.

welcome to the world sofia esther!!

2009-07-01T09:13:00.002-04:00

another future girlfriend of anna jae's was born last week. sofia esther was born in perugia, italy on june 26th to jodi and andrea. isn't she just gorgeous?!

back in some old faves...

2009-06-12T12:41:00.001-04:00

just wanted to report that i'm officially back into some of my old jeans! not all of them, and maybe they're still a little snug, but i can pull them up and button them and everything! that's exciting! what a nice way to celebrate the 5 month mark. =)

and here are more!

2009-06-12T08:53:00.006-04:00

here are more pictures from the shoot with julia newman. these are not all of them, but some choice others.

if you are family/friends and want any of these pics, email me and i'll send you the link to the pictage site. =)

professional pics

2009-06-10T22:24:00.005-04:00

julia newman was kind enough to send over some of the professional pics she took this morning. i can't wait to see the rest of them. these are fantastic!

thank you again julia! and if anyone is interested in julia's info for their photos, let me know. =)

the 4-month sleep regression

2009-06-08T11:53:00.003-04:00

ugh. so anna jae has gone from the girl who sleeps 9.5 hours at night and learned to nap on her own for 1-2 hours, 2-3 times a day, to the girl who wakes 6 times a night and can't nap longer than 30 minutes. i'm exhausted.

she's a few days away from her 5-month mark, so i guess this started at 4.5 months. she's been teething, so i thought it was that. and it still might be a contributing factor. but i do think that most of it is the 4-month sleep regression. it's so very common in kids 4 months or so to go from a dream sleeper to a nightmare, quite literally overnight. i guess that, at this stage, there is so much new stuff going on with them -- growing, teething, learning, etc. -- that it really affects their sleep patterns.

i'm really hoping this doesn't last very long. we have always been lucky with anna's sleep habits, at least at night (naps are a crap shoot). i would love to go back to that!!

in other news, our girl is doing great. we are getting prepped for an exciting week this week. since grandma and grandpa are away on a cruise (boooo... we miss you!), we filled our time with all new things and people! tomorrow, on anna's 21st week mark, we are visiting with gina and sue, and then going to see g.g. for some quality time. on wednesday, our friend julia newman is coming by to take professional photos of anna jae, which should be a blast! on thursday, as usual, we are visiting with anna's new baby friends (and my new mommy friends) at our weekly group get together. and on friday, i believe we are meeting jen and her son, whom she affectionately refers to as mcscreamy.

hopefully i'll have enough energy to do all this with her! if she would just sleep...

videos

2009-06-08T11:18:00.005-04:00

new pics!

2009-06-08T10:57:00.005-04:00

hope you enjoy!

mmmm... toes!

a dancing session with uncle steven.

marion and eugene came by to visit.

welcome to the world, mila isabella!

2009-06-08T10:55:00.001-04:00

anna jae's new cousin, mila isabella block, was born the evening of june 7th. she is 8 pounds, 3 ounces of juicy goodness. we can't wait to meet her.

congrats noah and olivia! so glad you are all happy and healthy.

and a few more...

2009-05-29T19:08:00.002-04:00

naked baby!!!!

pictures!!!!

2009-05-29T15:08:00.005-04:00

i know, i know, i'm late... so sorry. but they're here, and they're done.

aunt loren and anna in the park at the end of april.

aunt carrie and anna in the park.

nana's visit on may 2nd.

playing with a toy on nana's lap.

grandma and anna jae on mother's day.

grandpa and anna jae on mother's day.

uncle steven and anna on mother's day.

anna jae on the dodo rocker at the ICFF.

crying it out -- the good, the bad, and the scarring

2009-05-24T08:42:00.005-04:00

anna has been getting a bit sassy as of late. she is a great baby, really happy, but when she wants something (usually that something being mommy), she starts a blood-curdling scream that everyone hates. she's also awful on naps, not wanting to go down and needing to be rocked, but she is fully capable of putting herself to sleep because she does it every night. so we wanted to start having her cry-it-out -- CIO -- for naps and such, so that she learns that a) she can put herself to sleep, and b) she can't just scream for no reason.

so she and i did it yesterday afternoon. she cried for about 45 minutes, on and off, and i would go in every so often to let her know i was still there. after 45 minutes, she fell asleep, and slept for a half hour. i was very proud! and she woke up all happy and cheery the way she usually does.

this morning, i woke up at 5:45 with the realization that i didn't turn on the monitor last night. i always turn on the monitor if i'm in my bedroom, even if i'm just getting dressed, so i don't know why i left it off. so i turn it on and i hear anna jae screaming bloody murder. i jump up out of bed, wake dave, and run out to get her. before i can get to her, our door knocks -- it's our irritating downstairs neighbor, wanting to know if everything was ok. really, he was just pissed off that she woke him, but still, i was embarrassed. i ran to her room, scooped her up, and thought that would end it. but she wouldn't stop screaming. i brought her to our room, unswaddled her, and she wouldn't stop screaming. she would touch dave's face, then bury her head back on me and keep crying. she would look up at me, then bury the head and keep crying. she was so upset with us. i have no idea how long she was crying, but i guess that she woke up at her usual 5am and since i didn't arrive with the pacifier and the soothing head rub, she thought we left her.

i could only comfort her with a short feeding -- goes against everything i do during her morning wakes, but i couldn't help it. i felt so bad, and she needed the comfort. i fed her for about 5 minutes, and took her off. she played with her dad for a while, while i layed there and cried. and then she came over to me, found her niche in my side, and put herself to sleep. and i cried some more.

we are totally fine with CIO. it doesn't bother me at all, because i know my girl, and i know she can take it as long as she knows we are there. but when we didn't show up this morning, she got so scared, and i felt so awful. really, i still haven't stopped crying. she's fine, she was fine, everything will be fine. but i feel terrible. so does dave.

so there you go kids. if you are going the route of CIO (hey, that rhymes!), make sure you know that your baby knows you're there. sigh...

NOTE: she did go down to sleep again by herself this morning, after playing for a while and then some minor whining. i went in a couple of times to give her the pacifier and rub her head. then she fell asleep. so i guess she's not too scarred. i am. but she's not.

forgot to add...

2009-05-21T10:15:00.002-04:00

i'm off dairy. anna was throwing up, had lots of mucusy green poop (TMI, i know, but it's a sign of dairy issues) and was generally unhappy a couple of weeks ago, right after a weekend when i had had lots of milk, cheese, and ice cream. she started feeling better by that tuesday, but that wednesday she had milk that i had pumped on monday, and got sick again. so that was that.

i told dr. cao about the reactions. he agreed that she probably didn't have a milk protein allergy (though it's still a possibility) but that she seemed to definitely be lactose intolerant, at the very least. so i am on soy milk for cereal and coffee, not eating cheese or ice cream or creamy cakes, and trying my best to stay away from other things like chocolate that may contain milk. she's definitely doing better -- spitting up less in general, more yellow poop instead of green (good!), and in a better mood. it's better for my diet too -- i can't give into temptation! but of course, this is a very difficult diet plan to follow, so i am only doing it as long as i have to. =\

18 weeks -- and her first design shows

2009-05-21T09:41:00.002-04:00

oh goodness. little miss anna jae made a splash this past weekend. we took her with us to the ICFF (international contemporary furniture fair) on sunday, accompanied by her aunt loren, and she and i went solo at the NSS (the national stationery show) on tuesday. she was the absolute star of both shows! and i'm not just saying that because i'm her mother. this kid entertained all the strangers that she met, laughing and smiling and flirting with them. she had a blast -- though of course there were the crank-fits where we had to run out of the exhibit areas to feed her and quiet her down, but no one had to deal with that but us. =) in fact, i got very little done at the stationery show this year, because everyone just wanted to talk about anna. that's my girl!

the other star of the stationery show was anna's babyhawk. so i will put it out there again -- this carrier rocks! it's really very comfy, anna likes it, and it looks really cute.

as far as new things go... well, the sleep schedule is at a pretty solid bed at 9:30-10, wake at 7am. there was a constant waking at 5am that required one of us to go in, give her a pacifier, and shush her back to sleep. but that has ceased in the past couple of days, and she's just going straight through. fabulous!

her eating has gotten better -- and by better, i mean faster. she takes a half hour most times these days. which is really fast for anna. LOL... she likes to savor her food i guess.

the only problem we're having is a bit of a mama-attachment. she developed it last week, very suddenly, not wanting to be with her daddy for her pre-bedtime feeding and screaming for me. thankfully that only lasted 2 nights, because it made dave upset and made me even more exhausted. but anna is still having issues not being in my arms. she gave her grandma a lot of trouble on monday going down for a nap, constantly looking for me. eventually she went to sleep for her, but it took a lot of work and willpower on my mom's part to put up with the screaming. i hope we can break her of this phase quickly, because it's very wearing on me, and not very easy for others to deal with.

i know i owe photos -- and i will be downloading them later today or tomorrow. =)

4 months old, vaccines, and screaming it out

2009-05-13T17:53:00.002-04:00

anna jae is 4 months old today!!! as i write this, she is screaming in her room. i'm trying to let her cry it out. she has a nasty, ear-piercing, i-think-my-eardrum-may-burst scream that comes out when she's cranky or just wants something really bad, and we would like to break her of it. so i'm letting her cry it out in her room right now, since she's uber-cranky and has taken to the scream.

she had her 4 month checkup today. she did really well. she's 13lbs, 2 oz, putting her at the 50th percentile in weight gain, and 25.25 inches long, putting her at the 75th percentile there. the only thing that's behind is her head circumference, at a mere 10th percentile. LOL... she has a tiny head!

she got half of her second round of vaccines -- next week we have to go for the rest -- and she did surprisingly well. i breastfed her while she was getting the shots, and she cried much much less. she even laughed on the way out the door, so that was a plus! so, for those who nurse or who will nurse their kids, i leave you with that example on how to handle the vaccines. it really does help a lot.

ok, i'm going to go to the bathroom, and then pick this poor kid up. she's been crying for a long time now. boy, can she keep going!

17 weeks and my first mother's day! boy am i behind

2009-05-11T22:27:00.002-04:00

first, let me start this out by wishing all the moms i know a very happy mother's day. especially my mom and grandma, who lead by example every single day, and barbara, who obviously raised a wonderful boy. =D

yes, it was my first mother's day this past weekend. and it was lovely. everywhere we went, strangers went out of their way to wish me a happy mother's day, and i was just so happy. your mom wasn't just guilting you -- this IS the hardest job in the world. from the pregnancy to the birth and now, only 4 months in, i can't believe that i have been able to do all of this. i know the hardest is yet to come (though i can hardly imagine anything harder than anna's birth, but i'm sure i'll eat those words). so i'll earn my mother's day celebration every year for the rest of her life! ha!

we celebrated by ourselves, our little family of 3, on saturday by relaxing and spending time together. first i got a haircut (woohoo!!!). then we went to bklyn designs (thanks for the pass, lor!), sat outside for a while, and grabbed a burger before heading home to watch "doubt" and chill out for the evening. it was a lovely day. sunday was spent with my family, and though we had a bit of running around and stress involved in the morning (our printer died just when we needed it the most), it was still a great day. we went out to dinner with everyone, and anna got to charm a restaurant full of people and make her grandma and g.g. smile. grandma gave me a lovely bracelet with "anna jae" on it, which is just great.

i'm having some trouble keeping up the blog as often as i would like, but i'm going to try to post daily with simply the new things that anna is doing or major events that have occurred. that way i don't forget anything. because i swear, this kid does something new every day.

did i update this blog on how long she's sleeping now?! 9 HOURS!!! it's fabulous. she had a streak of wakes at 4:30 in the morning a few weeks ago, which made me very nervous. but last monday i decided not to go to her when she woke at 4am, and she put herself back to sleep, not waking until 7 -- and she had gone to bed at 10 the night before. =D she did it all week. the past two mornings she's gotten up after about 8.5 hours, but i won't feed her until the 9 hour mark, so she has to hang out by herself or spend time with daddy until i'm ready for her. it's great.

anna has her next round of shots on wednesday, her 4 month birthday. i'm not looking forward to it, of course. but i am looking forward to the ped visit, so that we know how much she ways and what to expect next. i'm especially curious to see when dr. cao wants to start her on solids, though i have a feeling that he'll want to wait until month 6.

can you believe she's 4 months already? that's insane! where did all the time go?

i have a ton of photos to go through and post up, which i will do this week. in the meantime, enjoy your day!!

15 weeks, and no signs of slowing!

2009-04-29T12:13:00.003-04:00

anna jae comes up with something new each and every day. this kid is too much.

first she started rolling over to her right side only. now she's starting to turn onto her left side, so i would imagine that's not far off. and she won't stay on her belly any more than a few minutes, because she flips herself over again.

she started playing with her feet a couple of weeks ago. now she's putting them in her mouth.

she is slowly graduating to sucking on her thumb instead of her whole hand. it's pretty damn cute.

what's not so cute is her affection for screaming and screeching. she does it when she's happy, she does it when she's sad, she does it when she's tired, she does it when she's mad... (i've clearly been reading too much dr. seuss.) the angry screams are the worst -- she hits a decibel that i thought was reserved for animals. it actually hurts your ears, it's so high and loud. i seriously thought that last night i was going to get a knock on my door from the cops, because it sounded like i was beating the kid. ugh, it's awful.

but she makes up for it with her newest laughing game. she loves to laugh, but she doesn't know how to do it on her own yet. so she eggs me on to start laughing so that she can giggle right along with me. it's so damn funny!! we're going to videotape it tomorrow so that everyone can see.

that's all from my end. i'm pretty beat this week. she's really running me ragged. but it's worth it...

she's turning over! 14 weeks...

2009-04-21T09:38:00.002-04:00

yesterday, the 20th, anna jae spent a lot of time on her activity mat with me, grandma, and later, daddy. when i was there, anna was pushing herself onto her side a lot, trying to turn over but not quite getting it. well, later that night with daddy, she did it. twice! i missed it -- i was at a charity event for groove with me -- but i was lucky enough to catch a glimpse of it this morning. when anna woke up and i let her out of her swaddle for a diaper change, she performed for me. "look what i can do, mom!" and she flipped herself right over, and then looked up at me with the biggest smile.

anna also started her little-girl giggle on sunday night. she's laughed before, but never a full-on giggle. it was awesome.

we're just getting over a nursing strike that went on for a week, so i'm glad to have everything back to normal, happy, and moving forward. =D

this past weekend -- warm weather, day at the park, grams and grand aunt millie

2009-04-21T09:32:00.007-04:00

easter and passover pics

2009-04-21T09:27:00.003-04:00

yay! pictures!!!

uncle steven babysits!

2009-04-15T09:51:00.002-04:00

uncle steven and torr babysitting was fun for everyone! torr sent me the pics from the night.

3 Months! And new firsts!

2009-04-14T09:04:00.002-04:00

wow, two weeks seems to be the norm now in catching up this blog. i'm trying to get better, really i am. it's just so hard to find the time to do this with everything else going on. still, i'm working on it.

anna has just turned 3 months yesterday (13 weeks today). she's getting so big -- i'll find out exactly how much she weighs now when we go to our breastfeeding group later today. every day brings something new. she now gives us the raspberry all the time, and will even go back and forth with you on it for a while. she's learning how to react to an action, and vice-versa... for example, if she puts her foot to my face during a changing, i'll make believe that she kicked me and my head gets pushed back. after i react like that and i put my face back by her, she'll gently kick it again to get the same reaction. i love it!

best new thing -- she can put herself to sleep! we started seeing signs of it last week, when she fell asleep by herself in her carseat while we ate dinner. but last night we decided to really get the bedtime ritual down, start earlier, etc., and make sure that she fell to sleep on her own, not because of the bottle. and it worked! dave bathed her at 9:15, then i gave her a little baby massage, then he fed her at 10. once she was done eating, i brought her into her crib, swaddled her up, and then sat by her crib and read to her for a few minutes. then i shut the light, gave her a kiss, and shut the door. she futzed around for a little bit, but fell asleep by 11 -- a mere 15 minutes after i said goodnight. i was so impressed! and she slept until 6 or so this morning. yay!!!

ok, onto other things. two weekends ago (the weekend of the 3rd, 4th, and 5th), we went up to syracuse and rochester to visit nana, uncle noah, and aunt olivia. anna did really really well. she took her usual naps in the car (receiving blanket over the carseat does the trick), and she was entertaining and engaging to all. =) of course, she got knocked a bit off schedule, and had one bad night when we tried to have her sleep in a travel crib (pack and play did much better by her), but overall she did great! we were so impressed with our little girl. it's so nice to know that traveling upstate to see her nana and her aunt and uncle won't be too much for her. it might be harder for us, with all the stuff we have to take with us!! ha! but i think everyone had a great time together, and we were so happy we went.

nana came down to see us a few days later for anna's first passover, which we attend every year at uncle howie and aunt helene's. again, she was nothing but charming -- which was impressive, since she had been difficult all day. but she was held by all new people -- erin, adam, and courtney -- and of course was scooped up by all the relatives that adore her. aunt joan told her secrets, and uncle howie made her laugh. nana gave her tons of kisses. and anna returned the favor to everyone by flirting with adam (not to mention spitting up on him) and squealing during the seder readings. that's my girl!

since our 3rd wedding anniversary was tuesday the 7th, we decided to have a date night on saturday the 11th. uncle steven and victoria came over to babysit. poor anna had a stomach bug or something going on from friday to sunday, so we felt kinda bad leaving her -- for her and for her babysitters. but uncle steven and victoria did an amazing job. not only did they keep our sick daughter happy and entertained, but they also brought her presents and cleaned our kitchen! that the best babysitting service ever. we told them they're welcome to sit anytime. =)

and then of course, sunday was anna's first easter. she wast still sick and cranky since she refused to nap. but god bless that kid, she still does great putting on a show for everyone. grandma and grandpa had bought anna her easter dress to wear, but since anna was sick she didn't wear it until the end of the day, and that was only for about 45 minutes -- to take pictures and go next door to show off to others. all in all, it was a great holiday (thanks for the amazing food steven!), and we can't wait until next year when she can get an easter basket and hunt for easter eggs. yay!

i will post more pictures later today. there are some killer ones this time around.

11 weeks old, and 2 weeks behind

2009-04-01T09:28:00.002-04:00

so sorry! i know i haven't been keeping up on the info about our little anna jae. it's been a rough few weeks around here. dave's working a lot. i hurt my tailbone in some mystery way and was in excrutiating pain for about 5 days, and i'm still not 100% ok when sitting for a while. anna has been taken out a bunch and thrown off schedule, which clearly does not agree with her. and i'm trying to get back to work. all in all, it's been good but crazy.

our girl is growing bigger every day. i go to a breastfeeding support group on tuesdays, and you can weigh your baby there. as of yesterday (at 11 weeks old), she weighed 10 lbs., 15 oz... basically 11 lbs. i can't believe it! she's getting so big so fast. i guess it's cause she eats a lot -- anna takes in about 5-5.5 oz. per feeding, 6 feedings a day. crazy! she's almost completely out of her 3 month clothes and moving up into the 3-6 month outfits.

we had some issues with really long nursing sessions recently. anna is not known to be a fast eater, even with a bottle. she likes to take her time -- more like her dad that way than her mom. but our nursing sessions went from a long 45 minutes to a ridiculously long hour-and-a-half. it started out as a growth spurt i think, but sort of resulted in a slow let-down from me, which made me stress about my slow let-down, which made the let down even slower. ugh. vicious cycle. but i've been trying to not think about it too much, and the more distracted i am from the situation, the quicker she finishes up. again, not quick, but we're back to about 45-50 minutes on average, which is normal for her.

anna jae is doing so well otherwise though. she has begun sleeping through the night, without awakening at all, and in her crib! and she started doing this at 2 months old, when i hurt my tailbone and didn't want to bend over the swing or bassinet. i used the crib for naps and bedtime that weekend, and she took to it right away. of course, we still have to swaddle the hell out of her, but it's nice knowing that she'll go for 6.5 or 7 hours straight without needing us to soothe her back to sleep. we bought big muslin blankets over the weekend so that we could do a better swaddle on her (she was getting too big for her receiving blanket swaddle and breaking out of everything). works like a charm. and the best part? when she wakes for her first feeding of the day, she goes right back to sleep after she eats, and sleeps until 10 or 10:30. awesome!

anna is a baby that clearly responds well to scheduling, so she does best on a normal day at home where she can take her regular naps (usually after about 2 hours of being up) and be in her favorite surroundings. not always possible, of course, because real life has to occur and mommy needs to leave the house from time to time -- mostly for my sanity. if i can fit in errands or a walk between feedings, it doesn't disrupt her too much. but if we're out for the whole day, and she's in new places, she's too curious to sleep and then gets uber-cranky. and i pay for it for the next 2 days... but she's getting better. and overall she's a very happy baby.

our little girls is a gabber. she loves to talk to us! she smiles and laughs and then has full-on baby conversations with us. it's fabulous. i think she's going to start talking very early.

grandma (and sometimes grandpa) have been coming by once a week to babysit while i work. it's been a good start for all of us. anna had trouble at first doing her usual tasks, like napping, with anyone other than me. even dave was having trouble getting her to settle down for a nap. but she has adjusted quickly to others, and now gives them only the same amount of trouble she gives me. ::wink:: we'll do this for another week or two at our place so that she can be in her own surroundings, and then we'll start going to grandma and grandpa's. i'll be working out there most of the time so that i don't waste time with the commute (and money over the bridge).

ok, i think i've caught you all up. we are going upstate this weekend to visit nana, uncle noah, and aunt olivia. we're excited, but nervous about the ride up there. wish us luck!

new pics... info to come

2009-03-23T15:23:00.010-04:00

so sorry i haven't posted on here in over a week. we've had some issues in the past 2 weeks that have kept me from it. but i'm putting together a new post with all the recent happenings in our new little world.

in the meantime, enjoy the vast array of photos i've posted! she's changing so much day by day...

this is the sequence of how anna jae wakes up. she's the funniest thing...

in her little jean dress (thanks dawn!)...

showin' off her bloomers with aileen!

just relaxin'

it's funny cause it's true!

tummy time!

with andrew

i think she was flirting!

aunt carrie took this series the other day. how great are these photos?

8 weeks, 4 vaccines, 2 temper tantrums, and one date

2009-03-10T19:24:00.004-04:00

anna jae is 8 weeks old today!! and the poor kid had to celebrate with her first round of vaccines.

i want to do a recap of the past week or so...

anna's first tantrum(s)
oh yes, this kid is starting early. she has officially given us a first look at her temper tantrums. granted, at this stage, it's all about a newborn's need to be held NOW, but still, it's not a pleasant view into the future.

last week, anna cried a couple of times when she was put down to be changed. the cry was new though -- louder, and with a screech involved. a piercing screech. i couldn't tell if it was just that she wanted to be picked up and held, or if she was over-hungry at the moment. well, i got my answer on friday... my mom and i took her down to seaside, nj to visit some family friends, and on the way back, she started to cry in her carseat. then the cries got more intense. i decided to sit in the back with her to keep her calm. when i got back there and i started to soothe her, she started to screech again. i had told my mom about this new cry earlier that day, and when she heard it, she said, "THAT'S a temper tantrum!" oy. all we need is a kid that will throw tantrums, right? ha! i was able to soothe her, but she did it again after we switched cars and i headed back to brooklyn. man, this pretty little girl can scream.

mom and dad's first date night!
yep. dave and i got to go out on a date! i had been getting more than a bit baby-worn, so my parents and grandma offered to babysit for us on saturday night while dave and i went out. we were so excited about this, we talked about it all week.

i wanted to go to dinner and a movie. sounds passé, but honestly, we can't go to a movie with anna. so we decided that slumdog millionaire was our choice, and i found a theater that was playing it not far from pj clarke's, where we wanted to have dinner. well, we drove in, and after we parked the car, we found out that the theater wasn't playing it after all. eek! i was kinda sad, but we decided to go to dinner and then decide what we wanted to do.

we had the most wonderful dinner. we ordered the raw bar sampler and a bottle of wine -- two things i hadn't been able to have in almost a year! -- and then some yummy burgers. the conversation was great, we got to relax and be adults... granted, we talked mostly about anna, but that was ok. she wasn't sitting right next to us, or nursing from me at the moment. it was the first time i had been away from anna since she was born, and it was heavenly.

realizing that a theater nearby was playing coraline, we opted to go see that instead. when i called from the theater to check on anna, my mom said that she wasn't sleeping. crazy kid hadn't slept all day! so i said she should sleep after her 8:30 feeding... well, we called on the way home, and she STILL wasn't sleeping!! she wasn't being difficult, but i was worried we were in for a fit later on as a result.

when we got back, dave dropped me off first to go look for a spot. i came in, said hello to everyone, and then picked up anna to say hi. she immediately put her head down on my chest and got quiet. my mom exclaimed, "i've been trying to get her to do that all night!" aw, anna missed me! it was enough to make me cry. though, as i explained to her at that moment, not enough to keep me from going out again. =) still, it reminded me of the magic of having a child, which can get lost so easily in the daily chores and frustrations. that brought me back to our little private heaven.

anna's first shots...
anna jae received her first round of vaccines today. while the rest of her 2-month checkup went well (she's now 9 lbs 14 ounces, and 22 inches long), the vaccines were awful. poor kid was all content, lying on the table and discovering everything around her. then mommy held her arms and made sure she had her pacifier in her mouth while the kind nurse gave her her first dose of outside pain. oh man, my heart broke for her. she went from happy to so very, very upset in a split second. she screamed with each one (remember that screech?), and couldn't stop crying and screaming even after they were done. i held her for a bit to calm her down, then got her dressed and put her in my babyhawk. thank god i brought that, because i think being held next to me was the only thing that was going to really make her feel better at that point.

i don't get riled up by anna's crying anymore, as most of the time she's just fine. but this time, since i knew she was in pain, i wanted to cry right along with her.

plus, i had a migraine all day (yes, they're back), so that didn't help.

anna is sleeping now, hopefully will wake soon for a feeding, and then i'm sure will sleep more. i hope that tomorrow she'll be better.

my thoughts so far

2009-03-04T11:46:00.003-05:00

i've realized that we've developed some favorites in our new little world -- things that really make anna happy and/or make our lives easier. and we have a few things that she has just refused, making us miserable in the process. every baby is different, it's so true...

clothing/furniture items/accessories:
- swing. yep, our girl couldn't live without her swing. in fact, she couldn't sleep without it. sure, she'll deign to go down in her bassinet for a nap, or for a few hours at night, but sleep the whole night through? surely you jest. give her the swing and she'll sleep until the morning. the REAL morning, not baby-world 3am morning.
- babyhawk baby carrier. i got both a sling and a babyhawk. anna liked the sling for a whole 2 weeks, and then went on a sling strike. the babyhawk worked much better for her. it holds her close to me at my chest, which is her favorite position. she can look around for a while, and then fall asleep while i do housework or walk to the store. it's a lifesaver for both of us.
- receiving blankets. we swaddle the heck out of our girl. whenever we want her to sleep, we need her to be swaddled. the carter's receiving blankets (the regular ones, not the organic -- the organic are too small) are the perfect size and weight to swaddle her without making her uncomfortable or sweaty. it's the only way she can sleep for any length of time.
- car seat stroller attachments. if i put anna in the car, and she falls asleep, do i really want to wake her up? of course not!
- pillows. not for her, of course. but for her feedings. i like the boppy breastfeeding pillow, but it's heavy and stiff, and so really bothered my incision. so i used all the other soft throw pillows in my house for feedings. sure, i look silly, surrounded by mismatched throw pillows, but it's comfy and helps support her.
- footie pajamas. i like her feet to be warm, and socks fall off.
- swaddlers. sometimes you don't want to have to do blanket origami to get her to sleep. or, if you're dave, you can't do it at all. =) so the swaddlers are an easy fix. granted, they look like baby straight jackets, but they work.
- snow suit. ok, so i still hate the big pink snowsuit that grandma bought for anna, but it does come in handy. as a winter baby, we wouldn't have even been able to get her home without it. on those cold 40-and-below days, it's the right choice. (next year i want one that makes her look like a teddy bear)
- portable changing pads. we don't have a changing table, but we have several portable changing pads. one stays in the nursery/office for daytime changings, and one in our bedroom for nighttime changings. easy, simple, and eliminates the need for moving all through the house to get to a localized change table.

soothing items/methods
- white noise. again, can't stress this enough. it's the only thing that calms her at times, and we keep it on all night to ensure that she sleeps more soundly (it's not so bad for our sleep either). we have a white noise album that plays on a loop on our iPod, and her sleep sheep is a portable way to take the white noise with us for easy calming.
- pacifier. it took a while to get anna to take it. and she still doesn't want it all the time. but when we want her to go back to sleep in her swing, or are trying to get her to sleep while rocking her, the pacifier works like a charm. we like the soothie's brand, and their shape is ideal for breastfeeding moms (apparently, the other types encourage biting. eek!).
- car ride. yeah, if you have access to a car and a cranky kid, this will help out a lot. anna does tend to cry if you stop at a light, since she likes the movement so much, but finally quiets down when she falls to sleep.
- warming her bassinet mattress. it's still chilly in this place sometimes, and if the sheet on the bassinet mattress is cold, she jerks awake and doesn't want to go down. so i discovered that warming the mattress, either at the heater, with a hair dryer, or at the mouth of the oven will aid in getting her to sleep each time. totally genius.
- baths. she just loves her baths! that's daddy/anna bonding time, and she just has the best time. if we want her to relax, it's a great solution.

things she/we could do without
- sleep sacks. a great idea, but they don't keep her swaddled. so we don't use them, unless we're leaving the house. maybe we'll like them when we're out of the swaddling phase.
- car seat. obviously, dave and i like the car seat. and we need a car seat. but most of the time, unless she's in a great mood, anna could do without it. and she HATES being buckled in.
- breastfeeding cover. i got one of those capes so that i could be discreet when i fed her. but she hates being under there. it's dark, it gets hot, she freaks out. so now i just use a pashmina around my neck or something similar when i feed her in public.
- sling. as said above, she really doesn't like it. but i know many babies who do. ::shrug::

this list will change/grow as she gets older, but we like where we are at right now.

pumping help...

2009-03-02T16:10:00.001-05:00

hey out there. if any of you ladies have suggestions on how to pump more efficiently, please let me know. i'm having some trouble. =(

weekend with nana...

2009-03-02T16:03:00.002-05:00

this past weekend, anna had a visit from her nana (dave's mom, barbara). it was too short, of course, but we were so glad to have them spend time together. friday night we went to great-great aunt pearl's for dinner, and also got to see aunt helene and uncle howie. anna was so well behaved! we couldn't get over it. the kid was making a liar out of us. saturday, nana came to our house to spend the whole day with anna (by the way, anyone else notice that they rhyme? just saying). except for when i was feeding her, anna was in barb's arms all day, either sleeping or having fun.

sadly, with my stupid migraines returning, i was completely out of it and forgot to take photos. but the next day, anna wore a onesie that barbara gave to her, and so i took pics of her and dave together and sent them over to barb. and that's what is posted here.

anna is getting over a cold, but she's much better than she was. and she's decided that sleeping through the night may not be her thing after all, so i'm exhausted. sigh...

life right now

2009-02-26T10:12:00.002-05:00

the past week has been an interesting one. a quick bulleted recap:

- the major excitement in my life was buying a new breast pump over the weekend
- dave and i got our signals crossed sunday night, which resulted in the loss of 4 ounces of breastmilk. that resulted in a bit of a breakdown for me. =(
- anna got a cold. poor kid was all stuffed up and needed to have saline drops put in right before i suctioned all the snot out. which, like all babies, she hated, and so she screamed. the downside was that she wasn't feeling well and cried an awful lot over the past couple days. the upside was that she was pretty much a momma's girl over the past few days, wanting to do a lot of snuggling with me. that always warms my heart.
- anna has begun "sleeping through the night". which means she sleeps for 5-6 hours at a time, from her last nighttime feeding to her first morning feeding. this means i get more sleep at a stretch. score!
- we are working on a new feeding schedule and bedtime routine. her sleeping through the night has helped us with that adjustment. she now gets her first morning feeding at around 6, and her last feeding of the day at 11 pm, after her bath. daddy gets to bathe her and feed her, while i pump through the feeding. it works out well for all of us.

all of this helps with my sanity. =) though i've been getting some baby-wear over the past week or so, as my whole world now revolves around sleeping and feeding schedules, pumping and breast health. it's a lot to deal with, while taking away the rest of my adult life that i was so used to. soooo... i'm adjusting. and grandma and grandpa are babysitting next saturday so that dave and i can have some baby-free date time. slumdog millionare here we come!

6 weeks and new pics!

2009-02-25T18:21:00.003-05:00

happy anna, happy momma

2009-02-20T12:21:00.001-05:00

she had a smiley morning with me today. =D

smiles, v-day, sleep, and doctors

2009-02-19T11:39:00.005-05:00

hey! found some time for an update before little miss sunshine wakes up for a feeding. =)

anna jae has hand an eventful week! of course, she had her first-month birthday on friday the 13th. the same day brought her first social smiling, her first shopping trip, and her first car ride over a bridge. how exciting!

valentine's day was, um, interesting. little anna jae got dressed up in her new valentine's outfit, and promptly peed all over it during her first changing of the day. (sorry aunt roe and kay!) so we changed her into another... aunt kira stopped by for her first visit, and anna stayed up to play and smile at her. this, however, continued on long after kira left, and she wound up throwing a fit later in the evening and then konking out completely. we had to give her her second "dream feeding" for the week -- we sort of forced the bottle into her mouth since she refused to wake up, and her natural sucking action allowed her to eat the whole of the bottle without waking. the next day, of course, she was exhausted and slept much of the day, but then didn't sleep nearly as well at night. and so this cycle continued the rest of the week -- one day up and cranky, the next day sleepy except at night, and so on and so forth. i'm trying to correct the situation today if possible.

and finally, she had her one-month checkup on tuesday (the 5-week mark). dr. cao is very proud of her -- she is up to 8 lbs. 11.5 ounces, which is almost a full 2 pounds higher than her birthweight, and she is now 20.75 inches long, which means she's grown an inch and a quarter. you go girl! we discussed anna's gas situation, which is prett extreme while she's eating, but clearly she's getting enough food so he's not overly concerned. so we will just continue the way we have, and she should be great! her two-month checkup (and first vaccinations... eek...) is on march 10.

enjoy the photos!

hiding with aunt robyn.

playing with aunt susan.

smiling at kira.

this is what anna thought of valentine's day.

much calmer the day after!

anna met pye and mariah...

... charmed them ...

... and then pooped in his hand!

being a brooklyn girl with aunt loren!

happy one-month birthday!!

2009-02-13T12:56:00.003-05:00

happy one-month birthday to our little anna jae!

anna and i celebrated by getting out of the house and going clothes shopping! not for her, because she's gotten plenty in the way of gifts recently. no, for me! momma needed some new tops that a) lend themselves to easy nursing, and b) aren't maternity tops. so grandma helped get us to kohl's, where i spent a gift card from christmas and got a bunch of new stuff.

how cute did our little girl look for her outing today? she can't go many places yet or stay for very long, but it's good to get out for an hour or so.

thrush update

2009-02-12T17:11:00.001-05:00

well, i'm on treatment. everything and everyone tells me to get anna treated simultaneously, except her pediatrician. he's anti-drugs unless absolutely necessary -- which i totally appreciate -- but i'm concerned that we'll pass it back and forth to each other. oh well. we see him next tuesday, so i'll talk to him about it then.

thrush!

2009-02-11T20:01:00.002-05:00

well, i have thrush. this is what has been affecting anna's feeding sessions and causing me breast pain. ugh. i realized it today, after my pain and her feeding both reached a truly difficult level.

onto treatment! yaaaaayyyy...

all about anna

2009-02-10T18:29:00.002-05:00

whew... after a long 24 hours, anna is finally cooperating with me and is down for an evening nap. yay! now i can write all about her and her first 4 weeks with us.

breastfeeding
well, let's start with what occupies my mind most of the time -- breastfeeding. i've never been so obsessed with schedules, the clock, urine/stool, and, frankly, my breasts ever before! it's amazing how all-consuming the process is. though, if you're doing something constantly during the day with only short breaks in-between, i guess it's only natural.

anna had a hard time at first with feeding. my first night in the hospital was hard on me due to the surgery -- i was nauseous, overheated, and drowsy. i couldn't hold her, let alone feed her. so unfortunately, i had to allow the nursery to feed her formula that night from a bottle. this threw us off a bit... even though i was incredibly lucky to have a baby that latched on well from the start, i knew that i wasn't satisfying her the way the bottle-feedings did. i didn't have my milk yet, it didn't come easily to her, etc. the books are right when they say that first day/night can really make a difference. this was hard for me emotionally. and physically -- anna just kept trying her damndest to get milk from me, and when she couldn't, she'd try harder. which meant she would cluster feed for 4-5 hours straight. it was torturous. i continued to supplement her with a bottle once or twice a day for that first week, but always tried to offer myself first. finally, when she was 1-week old, she gave up the bottle and went for me exclusively. yay! it made such a difference to me emotionally.

now we're at the 4-week mark. anna has gotten much chubbier, so clearly she's gaining weight. she's on a pretty decent feed schedule -- i feed her every 2 hours during the day (from the beginning of the previous feed), and give her a final feeding around 9:30 or so. then she sleeps a good 4.5 hours or so before her next feeding, and another 3 hour stretch after that. she latches well. i've started pumping and i'm able to give a feeding to dave every night. the only problem i have is that she gets rather fussy sometimes, where she pulls off the breast and cries, then reattaches only to start the cycle over again. this can continue for 2-4 hours! it's exhausting. we're trying to figure out if it's a flow issue, a gas problem, or dreaded colic. only time and careful attention will tell.

breastfeeding is hard. really hard. more so because it's so time-consuming in the beginning. but it's also extremely satisfying. i love that she knows who i am so intimately. i love that i'm actually giving of myself physically to help her grow. and i really enjoy our bonding time. i think it's worth the hassle.

sleep
anna was TERRIBLE our first week home! dave and i didn't sleep -- he got just a few hours in, while i got 1 or 2 if i was lucky. that little girl was a terror. not only did she not sleep at night, but she also barely slept during the day. i was starting to wonder if she was a born insomniac. after all, newborns are supposed to sleep 16-18 hours a day, and anna slept for maybe 7 or 8 total. if we were lucky.

i took it upon myself to really push the day/night reversal, figuring that if anna learned that nighttime meant sleep, then maybe she'd be more relaxed to also take naps during the day. the first weekend we were home, we started to kick visitors out by 5 or 6 in the evening. we would dim the lights in the living room for the evening feedings. we put her down at 9 or so in our bedroom, with the lights down. we learned quickly to let her sleep wherever she would sleep, so her swing seat soon became the location of choice. finally, in our next week home, she started to actually sleep for 1-3 hour stretches. not long, but at least it was something. and she did indeed start to sleep during the day after that. she just needed to get sleep so that she wasn't overtired, and she finally learned to rest. part of the solution was a series of methods we learned to use to calm her down and get her to sleep, and that really did the trick. but more of that in a moment...

now our girl sleeps for 4.5 hours for the first clip, and 3 hours after that. the first few days she started to sleep longer, i woke her every 3 hours as per the doctor's request, so that she could feed. but after that i realized that our girl would never not tell us she was hungry at night, so i let her sleep as long as she wanted. it definitely worked out -- she eats often during the day, so it doesn't matter.

temperament
some of you might recall that we were concerned that anna had acid reflux. she just seemed to be unhappy from the start -- fussy, constantly crying, unable to sleep comfortably. our pediatrician told us that he would evaluate her at her one-month checkup, but that until then we just had to do whatever we could to keep her calm, soothed, and happy. but how do you do that with a constantly howling newborn?

my friend clara suggested on this blog that we get the book "the happiest baby on the block." the title was too perfect to resist, so i thought i'd purchase it. but as luck would have it, my friend daniela (a mommy-to-be), already had the book and its corresponding dvd. since she doesn't need them just yet, she offered to bring it to me to use.

this book is amazingly brilliant! we owe our sleeping hours to the author, dr. karp. he theorizes that a baby's first 3 months of life are actually a sort of 4th trimester, and the baby benefits from recreating the womb. he suggests using the 5 "S's" -- swaddle, swinging, sucking, shh'ing, and side/stomach positioning. we had already been swaddling her as per our pediatrician to try to calm her, but we didn't have complete luck. well, the first night we had the book i downloaded a white noise album to play in the background while she slept (the "shushing" part of it), and we swaddled her whenever we wanted her to calm down and sleep. she didn't sleep for a long clip, but she was totally quiet at night, which was amazing! the white noise, turned up loud for the entire night, really seemed to calm our little terror! the next day, she would nap with white noise near her every time, which really did the trick. and that night, we swaddled her, turned up the white noise, and added in her sleeping in her swing. well, that was that. she slept for 4 hours straight for the first time (and actually scared the hell out of me, since i woke up before her and thought something must be wrong!). sometimes we add in the pacifier for sucking if she's having a particularly hard time calming down or if she reawakens when we place her in the seat. it seems to help her lull back to sleep.

the white noise is also particularly helpful if she's having a fit during the day. we bring her to it, turned way up, and she quiets down. if she's hungry, nothing will stop that wail, but otherwise it truly does comfort her.

anna is quickly becoming more alert and aware of her surroundings. she focuses more and loves to stare. this is wonderful to watch. we can also take her out a bit now, so she has been for 3 walks, and has even been to her first restaurant! unfortunately, she's not always so quiet and fun while she's awake. days like today are particularly difficult, when she just wants to be with her momma (this is why god made people who make baby carriers). but this book has helped us, and our sanity, quite a bit.

mom and dad
i'm finally recovering a bit more. my abdomen is still sore to the touch, which my midwives tell me is my nerves and/or muscles regenerating. it's a bit difficult to deal with, as clothes hurt, let alone having anna sit in my lap. but other than that, i'm more that fine. i'm making sure to still not carry/lift heavy things, and i'm avoiding stairs for a while. but the rest of life is back to normal!

my daily life is an exercise in adjustment. i am used to being at home alone, for better or worse, but i'm not used to a) having to give so much physically to another being and b) having so little time to actually do things. like cook a healthy dinner, or write this blog entry. but i'm slowly getting my legs again, and finding ways to be my usual task-oriented self. in the end, i'm just loving being a mommy.

dave is back to work, and his usual long hours, which i know he isn't thrilled with now that anna is in our lives. he misses her quite a bit every day. we try to send him photos if we can, which makes him happy. but he has started to take over one feeding a night a few days a week, which gives him time to bond with her (and gives me a bit of a break). and of course, there's always designated family time each weekend for just the 3 of us, which makes us all feel good.

anna is officially 4 weeks old today, and will be one month on friday. i can hardly believe it. time really does fly, so we're trying to enjoy it as much as possible. as hard as some days are, in the end she's the most precious thing in the world to us. we don't want to miss any of it.

and yet more photos

2009-02-09T12:43:00.004-05:00

i promise, at some point i'll find the time to write everything about our pretty little girl. in the meantime, here are a few more pics to mark the end of week 4!

great aunt maria.

great uncle richie.

daddy cuddle time.

great grandma love! the best kind!

our first real bath!

just chillin' out. this bath thing is very relaxing!

new pics!

2009-02-05T12:44:00.003-05:00

i have so much to write, and little anna jae doesn't give me much time! but here are some new pics to tide you over...

aunt michelle, visiting last friday.

with aunt loren, who visited on saturday evening.

getting ready to head out for my first walk outside.

which one is the sleep sheep, and which is anna?!

a lovely mix of patterns in my world.

anna and her crib

2009-01-28T17:26:00.001-05:00

anna jae took a nap in her crib today. this is a big accomplishment -- she hates being on her back. but she looked so darn small, i couldn't help but snap these photos of her. =)

first day alone together

2009-01-28T13:06:00.003-05:00

today marks the first day that anna and i are alone together. no daddy, no grandma, no visitors. just the girls. as i type this, she sits in her sling, happy and cozy in her little black space. and i get to write up her blog.

our days together are nice and quiet. well, that is, when she's not crying. anna wakes, gets a diaper change, eats, and then goes back to dreamland. sometimes she smiles the prettiest little smile... it's a shame that she has no idea what she's doing. =) she sits in her chair and sleeps a bit, though during the day they're very short cat naps -- only 20 or 30 minutes long, not nearly long enough for mama to get any extra rest. but that's ok. we hang out and we're happy.

these are moments that i miss dave being here. and i know he does too. it'd be lovely if he could be here all day with his girls, just hangin' out and watching what she does. but i guess that's what weekends are for, right?

i spoke to anna's pediatrician yesterday, dr. cao. he said that it's a bit too early to diagnose anything -- anna could have acid reflux, or it could simply be her temperment. so he urged us to just soothe her any way we had to, and at her month visit he would revisit it. which makes sense. i've received great helpful hints from friends whose children have had it, so hopefully all together we'll be able to make some progress in this area.

i'm going to try to rest while she happily sleeps in her sling. gotta take it while i can get it, right?

anna's 2 week birthday!

2009-01-27T18:34:00.006-05:00

happy 2 weeks to my precious little girl! yay! honestly, 2 weeks seems like a long time to have her. i feel like she's still not really ours to keep.

check out the new pics below from this past weekend. =D

aunt olivia.

uncle noah.

daddy time.

she thinks she's just so cute.

aunt helene.

uncle howie.

her favorite place to sleep -- on mommy.

i had to have a photo of her in this... swaddled up like a baby burrito, and with such a face on!

the wonders and the heartbreak of a newborn baby girl

2009-01-25T20:35:00.002-05:00

anna is coming up on 2 weeks of age. 2 weeks! i actually can't believe time is already going that fast.

dave and i are loving our new family member. i'm finding my bonding moments with her in feedings, in how she recognizes my hold/voice/touch. dave enjoys his bath time with her, his time holding her after a feeding, even his late-night diaper changing. she is clearly going to be daddy's little girl, which is just how it should be. i adore watching them together.

the new father has also been an amazing husband for the past two weeks. not that he isn't a fabulous hubby every other day... but he's been especially fabulous since the birth. all his time off was spent trying to make me more comfortable, take care of the household tasks, etc. -- anything to make sure that when he goes back to work, i am able to physically be on my own. he definitely succeeded there. sadly he has to return to work in the morning... but we're grateful to his office for allowing for the extra time off to help me out with my recovery and to give him more time with his new daughter.

of course, all the family members and friends are thoroughly enjoying anna as well. we've had such heartwarming visits. the grandparents -- grandma and grandpa (my parents) and nana (dave's mom) -- have been completely enchanted by her. all the aunts and uncles are equally enthralled by her little self. we are so grateful for all the love from everyone we know. it means that our little girl will be well taken care of all her days, and we couldn't want more than that.

but, with every happy story, a little sadness must fall... our little anna jae is a fussy kid. she has been since day one. we've done a good job of working on her sleeping habits, and she's doing much better there, but she's still fussy. she cries often, much of the time for no apparent reason. we do all the usuals -- make sure her diaper is changed, make sure she's fed, etc. -- to no avail. she's just unhappy. then last night/early this morning, anna threw up during her feeding time. all over herself, all over me, and she threw up everything in her system. poor thing! i spent the rest of the morning up, trying to make her comfortable. i have paid close attention to everything since then, and consulted my baby books. and it seems like she has all the markings of acid reflux. =( it would explain a lot... the all-day fussing, the inconsolable crying, the inability to sleep on her back, and her fits that occur at least once a day during breastfeeding. i think she's suffering, and it breaks our hearts. it has made me cry several times today... i hate the idea of her being in pain and neither of us being able to help.

the pediatrician gets a call tomorrow, and hopefully we'll be able to see if this is indeed acid reflux. in the meantime, we're trying to make her as happy as can be. poor anna. =(

new photos!

2009-01-24T12:03:00.006-05:00

yep, more pics. every moment i'm not feeding this kid, i'm taking pictures. and dave takes pictures in all the other moments.

more to come soon!

aunt joan

tired momma.

aunt carrie.

angelic pose.

with big uncle steven.

with nana.

check out my hand. just like momma's!

usually the way people see me.

with grandma.

power to the people!!

what the heck is grandpa doing?

crossing my eyes. it's a parlor trick really.

the labor day...

2009-01-20T14:54:00.004-05:00

anna's entry into this world was nothing short of scary and difficult. how something so perfect can come from that experience i'll never know. but she did, and now you know the ending before the rest of the story.

as i had said previously, anna's post-dates testing did not go to my liking. in the end she scored fine, but it took her 1.5 to 2 hours to get those passing grades. she never moved enough for the technician's taste. she slept a lot. i was starting to get nervous. i went back for round 2 on monday the 12th, with grandma maria coming along with me to hold my hand, and the testing went the same way. took a long time, anna slept too much, etc. i was getting really concerned.

so we headed straight to my midwives after the second testing. as soon as i saw midwife jessie, i said, "take her out. this kid needs to come out." she very much agreed -- at 11 days overdue, she thought i needed to do an induction anyway. so we scheduled me to go in that night at 7pm to meet midwife anne to start the process.

let me just preface the rest of the story with this: i never originally wanted to be induced. obviously i knew it was possible that it would happen, but labor never goes the same for an induction. you have to be constantly monitored, so you can't walk around or use the shower or other pain management techniques that would help you. you're in bed the whole time strapped to the machines. this is not the way nature intended a baby to be born. plus, there's a much higher rate of c-sections resulting from inductions, and my main fear was a section.

but, of course, i needed the baby out. her welfare was much more important than my birth plan, and she was scaring me. so dave and i headed to the hospital at 7 on monday, january 12th. they got me registered, IV in, and got me a big room for the induction -- they planned on it being a long night. then they inserted cervadil, which is a gel inserted on a tape to react with your cervix and to help it efface. considering my own progression previous to this, midwife anne thought that this would be all i might need. she inserted it at 8:30pm, saying that in 4 to 12 hours i should be in active labor. if not, pitocin was the next step. then she left, as i had been told that she would -- since it was such a long process, she wasn't going to stay for the inaction of it all. which was fine with me.

dave and i settled in. we watched tv and chatted happily with our first labor nurse. then, at about 11:30, the labor contractons started. i guess they were right about the cervadil being all that i needed... as soon as they knew i was having the contractions, the nurses told me about my pain med options. i definitely didn't want drugs, and i was intent on foregoing the epidural until i felt as though i couldn't stand it any longer. if i could get through it naturally, i wanted to. i had already given up other things about the process that i wanted to have -- i was sure as hell not giving up on my natural birth that fast.

the contractions, of course, got steadily worse. breathing helped. so did holding dave's hand. finally, the resident ob/gyn checked me at 2am and said that i was about 3-4 centimeters along. she called midwife anne, who told her to remove the cervadil to hopefully slow down the intensity of the contractions. she removed it, but sadly the contractions didn't slow or become less intense. still, i wanted to stick with it. by now we were on our second labor nurse, who basically tried to convince dave for me at about 4am that i should really get the epidural. i was angry and still refused... while she was well intentioned, i was determined not to be derailed. i was willing to get one, but on my time and on my terms.

midwife anne returned at 5am, checked me, and said i was 5 or 6 along. my contractions were even worse at this point, at about 2 minutes apart. i still refused the epidural, and dealt with it. so anne broke my water, telling me that it should speed things up but also make things even more uncomfortable. and it did. man, that was the worst pain ever. i went on for another 2 hours, until 7am. at this point, i was screaming like the woman in the room next to me giving birth. so i asked to be checked again, figuring that if i was at an 8 i would continue through, but if i wasn't yet then i would take the relief. at this point, midwife donna had come on for her shift, and she told me i was still at a 5-6, and an epidural might help me progress because it would relax me. so i asked for it. i was proud of myself for getting that far, and would have done it all over again. it's what i wanted to do, and i did it. go me. =)

by 7:20, i was numb and feeling much relief. my mom had arrived, and i told dave that she could come in for a minute to say hi. some time later, my 4th (and last) awesome labor nurse came in to tell me that the baby did not like my last contraction, and she put me on oxygen. that was not a big deal to me, it had happened once before that night. but i shooed my mom out and tried to breathe in for the baby. a few minutes later, the nurse came back to flip me on my side to try to get a reaction from the baby. no go. next thing i knew, the room was filling up. the nurse is flipping me back and forth... midwife donna is back to put in an internal monitor for the baby. then a resident ob/gyn came in to look at my monitor. and all of a sudden, donna is leaning in to tell me that the baby's heart rate had been decelerated for a while, and that it wasn't coming back up, so they needed to do an emergency c-section. as she's telling me this, they're putting me on a stretcher. there's a flurry of action, and they're wheeling me away from dave to run me down the hall to the OR. i didn't get to take him with me, and i didn't get to say anything to him. i just looked at him as i was crying, and he was crying, and they're rushing me away.

i cried all the way down to the OR. donna stayed with me to hold my hand, tell me what was happening, and to keep me as calm as she could. i was completely scared... i thought we were going to lose the baby. and i wanted dave. and i didn't want the surgery to be happening. and i didn't know what else to do except cry and let them do what they had to do.

thank god i had opted for the epidural, so they didn't have to knock me out for the surgery. the anestheseologist worked fast and, before i even knew what they were doing, i felt the pressure on my abdomen. i knew that this had to be the cutting, so i grasped donna's hand tighter and cried and hoped for the best. after some serious pressure and pulling sensations, and a few more seconds, i heard the baby cry. and i lost it. i was just so grateful to hear her cry and know that she was ok that i couldn't hold anything back anymore. finally dave was in the room -- unbeknownst to me, a kind nurse had let him watch through the door as they pulled the baby out and took the cord from around her -- and he got to hold her as i got to say hello. the moment was brief... dave got to follow her out and i had to stay behind and be stitched up, only to be placed in recovery for a few more hours.

the cord had wrapped around her during that last contraction, and it was slowing her heart. i'm still tormented by the thoughts of how that day went, but i'm so grateful to everyone that worked so fast and so well to get her out and safe.

dave and i finally got to christen her anna jae block, which everyone heard with a sigh of relief. i guess not revealing a name ahead of time will make people think you're getting a *bit* too creative with it.

but now anna is here, and our lives are completely different. and we wouldn't have it any other way.

welcome to the world, anna jae block!

2009-01-13T08:20:00.007-05:00

i've backdated this blog post so that it shows the time and date of her birth -- january 13, 2009, at 8:20 am, little anna jae block came into this world. with much pomp and circumstance may i just add. she was 6 lbs, 13 oz, and 19.5 inches long.

i will post about the labor story at another time -- it's pretty intense, and needs some real care when talking about it. in the meantime, i'm posting up some great photos of anna taken so far in her first week with us.

thank you so much to everyone who has been calling and sending their wishes. if i haven't gotten to call you back yet (most people), i am so sorry. i've been recovering from the c-section and taking care of our very fiesty newborn all at once, so it's hindered my ability to correspond. but we're doing well, we love you all, and we promise we'll be in touch soon.

post-dates testing today

2009-01-09T15:06:00.002-05:00

so i got back about an hour ago from my post-dates testing. it seemed to take forever... they were about an hour late getting to me, and then the baby wasn't being cooperative. seems like this kid really likes to sleep whenever i'm at the hospital, which sucks because i, and eventually the baby, get poked and prodded until they're reassured that the kid is ok.

i got hooked up to the fetal monitor and the baby was sleeping, and then she woke up a bit, only to fall asleep again. in the end, i guess she must be ok, because they let me go home, which wouldn't have happened if the doctor on staff there didn't say it was alright. but i didn't feel especially reassured. since last week's L&D episode where they had to give me another IV to wake the baby up and make sure she was alright, and then today -- i'm starting to worry. i mean, of course i feel the baby move, and she's most active at night when dave is home and he can be entertained. and i also know that babies of this age, in utero, act like newborns and go through sleep cycles. that being said, it still scares me. the technician was wonderful and told me that my printout looked alright, but she had also said in the beginning of the testing that well babies both sleep and are awake, whereas sick babies sleep more than they are awake. and so now i'm worried about her.

on the good side, there's still plenty of fluid in there, which is good, and the placenta is still fine, which is also good. the baby also reacted when she needed to, when i would eat something, drink juice, or we would prod her. so in the end, i guess those are good signs.

the technician, who seemingly runs this department of the imaging center there, wants me back in on monday morning before my midwife appt. to re-run the tests. she figures this will be the best way to let my midwife know the most up-to-date status of the baby for more info on induction. but any way you look at it, if i don't go on my own by then, i'll have to be induced by next thursday the latest.

to everyone that has tried to call recently that i haven't gotten to speak to -- i'm sorry for that. i've just been so out of it and haven't gotten to call everyone back again. i hope this blog is keeping you all updated enough.

the funniest belly photo ever

2009-01-08T22:40:00.001-05:00

even when i am in this state, dave can make me laugh. how funny is this photo with my belly? hehehehe...

41 weeks. no baby. i'm tired.

2009-01-08T22:31:00.003-05:00

yeah, there's no vegetable left. i'm just huge. and baby block won't come out.

there's not much else to say. i'm exhausted and huge (just check out the photos). i guess i can't say there's no sign of the baby, but as we all know by now, signs don't mean all that much in the end. i've been through so much false labor, pain, etc. in the past 4 weeks that i can hardly believe that this kid has not come out. but let that be a lesson to you all -- especially the women reading this -- that nothing is predictable when it comes to childbirth. and, i would expect, children in general.

we have our non-stress test and the bpp in the morning. hopefully everything will come out fine, as we have no indication otherwise. and then there's just more waiting to be done. blah.

at least i got to have my birthday baby-free. or, at least, labor-free. i guess the baby was there in some form. =) but that bullet has now been dodged, so we can move on from there.

i hope you enjoy the whale photos. they were taken on my birthday night.

midwife visit, post-dates...

2009-01-05T21:23:00.002-05:00

i'm really starting to feel like i'm going to be pregnant forever. the going joke is that we're going to buy me a purple dress so that i can be like bonnie swanson from family guy. hehehehehe... i guess you have to laugh at moments like this.

today was my first midwife visit, post-dates. i'm officially 4 days past due, which isn't very late, but late enough that we needed to discuss what's next. i have had slight progression, but not much -- the baby dropped a bit more, and i'm slightly more effaced. other than that, not much going on.

so we have to schedule baby block's non-stress test and bio-physical profile for friday (if there's something available then), since it should be done between 41 and 42 weeks, and i'm officially 41 weeks on thursday. as long as the baby registers ok, the placenta is still working fine, and the amniotic fluid is still sufficient, then there's no immediate need to intervene.

the lowdown on what can come after that... if i don't go on my own by next monday, we'll discuss my next step. they won't let me go past 42 weeks. so i have induction to look forward to after that. good news is that i'm in good shape for induction, and i've progressed enough where they shouldn't have too many problems with it. the main goal is to get this kid out, and if we can do it without c-section, even better.

the third circle of hell...

2009-01-03T14:15:00.002-05:00

i'm just done.

yesterday i started to get labor contractions at my parents' house at 6:30pm. i figured they were probably nothing, but decided to go home anyway. i called dave, who was out, and let him know what was happening. started to time them at 14 minutes apart. when they got to 10 minutes apart, dave decided to come home. i called my midwives, and midwife anne told me to wait until they were 3 minutes apart and then call back. in the meantime, she wanted me to relax, take a bath, etc.

in the past, baths have stalled out my contractions (yes, this is not the first time i've been to this rodeo). so i reluctantly took a bath. dave got home and made me tea, and i stayed in the bath for a while. the contractions started to calm, but then they came back on stronger and closer. ok, good! when i got out we started to time them, and we eventually got to about 3-4 minutes apart. so i called back anne. she told me to wait until they got stronger and more painful, and if that happened, then we could go to the hospital. this was at 11:30 pm.

well, i laid down and watched tv as my contractions got closer and more intense. they were never horrible, but then i also have a much higher threshold for pain than i used to due to the migraines. so i couldn't tell what "painful" meant at that point. i could say that i couldn't tell the time difference between them anymore -- it felt like one long contraction instead of several in a row. eventually i decided that since i didn't know what was happening, and they seemed awfully close, we should go in.

we get there, anne meets us. of course, my contractions started to peter out by the time i was in triage at 3 am. the baby was sleeping a bit though, so they wanted to run an IV to wake him/her up. i got stuck twice because the one in my arm didn't work, so that was horribly painful. of course the baby woke up right away, but my contractions went down to cramps and i got sent home. we got to bed at 6 am.

i'm not calling the next time until i'm writhing on the floor and can't speak. or until the baby's head is crowning. whichever comes first.

happy -- or not-so-happy -- new year!

2009-01-01T15:18:00.002-05:00

hi everyone!

well, i'm still pregnant, as my grumbly posts have already told you. the due date is today, but sadly, no child. we seriously thought that our chance may have come last night... i started having serious contractions at around 10:30. we began timing them right before midnight, and continued to do so for another hour and a half or 2 hours. eventually, i wanted to relax and get some relief, so i had a bath, and the darn contractions stopped! i was pretty disappointed actually -- even though we both kept saying that this could easily be false labor, i was starting to be sure that it was the real thing. the contractions were strong and i felt like hell, plus they were even and timeable.

but alas, they did not return, or at least to the same degree. i had lots of braxton hicks contractions afterwards, throughout the night and into today. i've had some more regular contractions, but they've been pretty sporadic. and so i'm back to where i was before.

the good thing is, i think i found a trick that actually worked -- spicy food!! we ordered thai last night for dinner, and i dared to eat the red curry. well, that was pretty spicy for me, and curry is usually very upsetting to my digestion. and a couple hours later i started to have contractions. so we're doing it again tonight! indian maybe, or possibly mexican. we'll see.

anyway, i do finally feel like i'm progressing a bit. i could be kidding myself, but i am feeling more like i had stalled labor instead of false labor. i'm hoping to move it forward soon.

onward and outward!