i saw this newsweek article on msn.com today -- does having kids make you happy? apparently, the answer is no. according to several studies, couples who decide to not to procreate report greater mental well-being and happiness, and greater marital happiness, than those who decide to have children.
i find this article very interesting, and not very surprising. kids are a worry -- you worry about how to feed/clothe/school them, you worry about their health, you just worry. and marital relationships, often times, tend to get pushed down the ladder of importance and replaced by your relationship with your child. i know many couples who have opted out of having children, and they're certainly content with their decisions -- you only have to be concerned with each other, your jobs, your traveling. all the things the rest of us focused on before kids.
i think it's really important to keep this in mind as we move forward and start our family. we have to keep each other uppermost in our priority list, so that our marriage doesn't suffer. we have to make sure that we pursue other goals besides those we have for our kids -- as i've always said, i never want to be known solely as "baby block's mom". and at the same time, we have to remember the joy that our child brings us, and why we had him/her in the first place.
a lot to remember huh? maybe i should write some of this down. oh, wait... =)
to all our friends and family, whatever your personal decision in this matter may be, we hope that you are always happy.
2 comments:
I don't know why I'm only seeing this now, but sorry for posting a comment so belatedly. I think that you make a good point here. Carlos and I constantly remind each other that we do need to focus on our marriage after the baby's born. We strongly believe that happy marriage = happy family.
Here are my 2 cents.
Couples that don't have kids, can only imagine what they would be like and therefore, can't really say they are happier without them. They just don't know until they get there. You just can't. They can't compare to something they can only imagine. Ya know.
For me, I didn't realize how much happier I am with kids until they came to be.
So maybe those couples that think they are happy withOUT kids, would be even happier with them. They will just never know.
That being said, yes you have to work on your marriage when they show up and adjust. But you know, you have to always work on your marriage, kids or no. It's just another adjustment.
Also, yes they are a HUGE worry. My major one is of finances and also wanting them to grow up to be self sufficiant and good people. But, I couldn't imagine my life without this worry and I never thought I wanted it either until they were here.
So basically, with all this rambleing all I am trying to say is, you never know until you get there. And yes, once they are here you might realize that you aren't as happy and it's too late, but that is something I just can't imagine.
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